5 Weeks Pregnant

How far along?  5 weeks (I think)

Size of baby: Is it sad that I’m not on top of this like I was last time? I think it’s just so soon. And I’m just so scared. Scared really isn’t the word. I’m terrified. After having three miscarriages, how can I not. So please, please, please don’t tell me to relax. Because I’m quite sure that you don’t understand if you continue to tell me to calm down.

Weight gain: Well I bounced from 106 to 110 to 113 to 111lbs. I have been trying for MONTHS to gain weight in the healthiest and not so healthiest way possible. My PCP told me my BMI was too low and that I really needed to try to gain some weight. I didn’t think I was THAT bad but when I look back at photos I sort of think I look skeletal. Gross.

Stretch marks: I never had one with Josie…but that doesn’t mean that this one won’t bring some. I have a feeling it will happen. But like I said above, I’m willing to take on anything this baby has to give me.

Gender: I feel like it’s a boy. I think because this pregnancy just feels so different than Josie. Or a mothers instincts? Who knows.

Nursery: Not paying any thought to that or any time into planning that just yet. No way! I’m so early and it’s so soon and anything can happen.

Maternity clothes: I’m expanding, I can tell you that. And a lot sooner than I did with Josie. But I’m not complaining. I will take anything this blessing throws at me.

Sleep: Well, since I never sleep well as it is, it’s pretty much unchanged at this point. Except that I’m no longer taking my small dose of Xanex before I go to bed at night because obviously it’s not safe for the baby.

Best moment the week: Finding out my HCG went from 1097 to 1917 in just two days and then scheduling the first ultrasound for next Tuesday. I’m praying all is well and we hear a heartbeat!

Food cravings: Pudding, Reese Pieces, soda and Mexican food. But that sounds like me just simply PMSing.

Food aversions:  Josie’ quinoa burger made me want to barf! It smelled like a deed fried circus. Yuck! Oh and my non-fat yogurts sound terrible (when I normally eat like 4-6 a day).

Symptoms: Wow. Well…yes. It started off very tired but that was short lived. Then the acne on my jawline, chest and neck (very strange). As the weeks have gone on (I found out I was pregnant when I was 3 weeks) I’ve noticed oily hair, lots of cramping and tugging on my ligaments down there. At one point my breasts felt “fuller” but now they feel normal again. But I am definitely lactating again like I did with the miscarriages. My HR increased and I can barely handle a cup of coffee in the morning. I know what you’re thinking: “you’re not supposed to drink coffee when you’re pregnant…” Well, I drink a LOT of coffee. And I mean a lot! Like an entire pot in the morning before work, a Venti from Starbucks (with 3 shots of espresso) on my way into work and then at least two Starbucks throughout the day at work. I work 14 hour shifts on my feet. I always need a “pick me up”. So not only do I suffer migraines as it is but if I give up cold turkey, I may get such a bad migraine that I’ll end up hugging the toilet seat. Besides, one cup won’t hurt. I can’t put myself through withdrawals. Caffeine is a drug. And I’m addicted. Anyway, I’m also short of breath very easily. I really don’t remember this with Josie. I do remember feeling that when I felt like I was carrying 55lbs of baby inside me though. Oh wait, I was. Yikes. My skin has also been super itchy. Luckily I found a safe body lotion to use. It is coconut scented and I pray I don’t have an aversion to it because it’s really helping my skin. My biggest complaint: I’m bloated! I wake up flat tummy and by the end of the night I look 6 months pregnant. There is a lot going on in there. And with the help of my celiac disease, I’m looking sort of rough. But I don’t care. I really don’t. I’m not trying to look glamourous. Not at all. I just want this wonderful, beautiful baby to make it’s comfy little home in there and do whatever it is he/she needs to do. I am peeing a lot but not as much as I remember with Josie. I feel like I am peeing just as much as I do daily because I drink a ton of water on a day to day basis. I had a tiny bit of nausea yesterday morning and had to eat a few crackers before getting out of bed. That’s it for now. I’m super excited to see what the coming weeks will bring.

Mood: I’m starting to think I have anger issues…but I’m quite sure it’s just the hormones.

Movement: Just lots of pulling and cramping and tugging down there. I feel he/she making their home.

What I’m looking forward To: Honestly, moving back to Texas so Bobby will hopefully be home with us permanently, the ultrasound (as I mentioned above), my mom coming to visit, and being able to finally tell everyone that we’re expecting!

What I miss: Starbucks flat whites.