May 9, 2019 Texan Allergy Arlington office:
My shining star did AMAZING! I am so proud of her! With grace and peace and prayers, we made it through this VERY long day. I made it through. Holy cow! How grateful we are for Bobby’s patience and calm. For he is the glue that holds us all together. The voice to keep us calm. The still we need when minds are racing. He so graciously took her to the appointment himself, while I drove around Austin with Juliette.
We found a Target. A new Target. A nice Target. And I filled the cart full of fun goodies for Josie. Something to reward her with for completing an entire day, 8 hours, in an allergy office literally eating the very thing that almost killed her two years ago. My girl has strength, ya’ll. She is mine, no doubt! She has sass, wonder and is sweeter than pie. She is full of love and happiness and kind-hearted in every way. So well mannered and polite. So loving and brave. She is Josie. And I am so proud. This may be a small start but it’s a journey that will be big! We are here. We started. We finished the day. We did it! WE DID IT! We ARE doing it. I cannot believe it. I hear Freedom…
…anything to give our sweet Josie a normal life when she gets older…anything.
Trips to Austin every week is worth it. It may be an all day event and 4 hours in the car each way but there’s no price tag on her freedom. There isn’t. We’d travel thousands of miles if we had to. Car, airplane, train…whatever. Anything for her.
At the end of the day we reached 5 doses. A total of 2.5ml of egg and 2.5ml of milk. Freaking phenomenal! She complained of stomach pain so we stopped and went home with that dose (to give for a week). It was incredible to walk out of there with such results. It was mind blowing. It was a high of happiness knowing that she is doing this. She is a trooper. My girl! Way to go, Josie!
That morning when we left the hotel, I was clouded. Scared. Anxious. Mind racing in a million different ways. Did I have this? Did I have that? The hotel was walking distance if needed. Where was the closest hospital? Was 4 Epi-pens enough if we needed to? Truthfully? After they got check in at the appointment and I walked out of that office leaving them, I left it to God. This was His to handle. I cleared my mind and trusted in Him to guide her through. To put His hand on her shoulder and give her strength to do this. He is ever so amazing. Oh dear God, thank you for this ever-so-kind, full-of-life, free-spirited child. She is truly a gift and we thank You for her. She is absolutely precious in every way.
“The strength of a mother is second to none. Even when she is in times of stress, when she is fighting her own demons, when she is beyond exhausted both mentally and physically nothing will stop her from finding strength she needs to do for her children what she needs to get done.”
When my children remember their childhood, I want only for them to remember that their Mother gave it her all. She worried too much, she failed at times and she did not always get it right…but she tried her hardest to teach them about kindness, love, compassion and honesty. Even if she had to learn it from her own mistakes she loved them enough to keep going, even when things seemed hopeless, even when life knocked her down. I want them to remember me as the Woman who always got back up.