Josie: Things I Never Want to Forget

It’s been quite some time since I’ve been able to post about the things Josie does that I never want to forget. But especially with another little one on the way, I really want to remember these things. So this list isn’t necessarily all that recent but yet a combination of new and old. These are things that I’ve jotted down on my phone over time. I wanted to go through old videos and photos to get a good idea of certain things she does/has done (certain phases) and jot them down so I don’t forget. Or at least I can come back here and read them and think “awww, I remember when she did that!” Life passes us by so quickly. Day to day activities and chores consume us.

I cannot believe my little girl is walking, talking and a sassy little pants! She is sassy and sweet and so polite. All these milestones are happening so fast. I honestly cannot keep up. I look back a year ago, when we first moved to Florida, and my heart just aches. Because she’s so much bigger now. So much smarter. So much different. In a good way, of course. But my little girl is growing and growing and growing. Sometimes I just want time to stand still. We’ve had rough patches and we’ve had amazing memories. We’ve had trips to the ER, ICU and I’ve had to run home from work several times because of her allergies/asthma. We’ve had trips to Disney and beaches and even went on a bike trip. We’ve certainly tried to make the best of our time here in Florida while we are temporarily here.

Oh Josie…how my love for you runs so deep it hurts to even talk about it. You are my baby girl. I love you more than words can express, hugs can show and actions speak. You’ll never know the depth of my love until you have a child of your own. It’s so cliche but so true.

I’ve watched you grow so much within the past year. Once your first birthday came and left, you bloomed like a flower. So sweet, so beautiful and so kind. Of course you have your toddler moments. Honestly the day you turned two it was toddler tantrum at it’s best. I try so hard to be the best mommy. To discipline without hurting you mentally. I try to teach you without scaring you. I’m not perfect, little girl. But I can tell you that I want the very best for you. You are all I think about. Constantly throughout my day. I worry about you 24/7. I worry about how much you eat and if you’ll have a reaction. I worry about the bee stings or where the epi-pen is at the moment. I worry that I’m not interactive enough, fun enough or engage on the floor with you enough. I worry that I let you watch too much tv or that my pregnancy with your little sister has completely and utterly drained me of being that “fun” mommy you deserve. I often remind myself (because no one else does) that I’m doing my best. I do what I can. When I can. I teach you, I read to you. I love on you constantly. You are my world. You know your letters and your numbers. You know your ABC’s (the song) and you can tell me where pretty much anything is in a book when I ask you where it is. There are things I never even knew you knew and often question “how the heck did she know that?” You take me by surprise every single day. Your brain is exploding with knowledge and I’d like to think I have something to do with that. That you are who you are because of me (or partly because of me). You are a great kid. You say “thank you” and “bless you” and you are so kind. You give hugs and kisses and you know when to say you’re sorry. Everyday is a challenge. And often times I’m so afraid I’m screwing it all up. What if what I’m doing isn’t enough? I worry about everything. I worry about your little sister and fear that I won’t love her as much as I love you. Is that even possible? Is that normal to feel this way? I just can’t imagine loving anything or anyone as much as I love you. You see, you are my creation. I look at you and I feel so incredibly proud of myself that I helped make you. That you are mine. I know it’s silly and I know it sounds crazy. I just never, ever want to make you feel less than the beautiful precious priceless daughter you are to me. You will never be replaced. Never be pushed aside. I promise I will continue to be the best mom possible, for the rest of my life, every single day.

I never want to forget:

How peaceful you are when you sleep.

How you nap for 4+ hours a day. You love your sleep. Just like your daddy!

How you grab your ducks out of the bathtub and line them up on the couch in a row and say “Ducks! Ducks!”

How you can sing the Super Why! Song and (still) absolutely LOVE that show…

And how you ask for more “Why! Why!” when it’s over…(grab the controller and try to put it on yourself).

How you play with your Mickey and Minnie Legos and make them kiss…

How you throw your hands up in the air and say “where is my baby?” as you frantically search for your baby doll. Then when you find her you try to feed her the bottle and rock and hold her so nice.

How you say “there you go” when I hand you something you’ve been looking for.

How you say “there she is” when looking for Minnie Mouse or your Baby.

How you say “here mommy”, “thank you mommy”.

I tell you I love you and you say “love yousssss” in a whisper.

How you love to press the button on my phone to hang up and always say bye bye to that person after it’s already hung up.

How you started saying “bless you!, thank you!” when I sneeze or blow my nose. You’re so polite.

How you LOVE ice in your water. “I, I, I, I!!!!”

How you really only eat your dinner right before bedtime.

How you’ve managed to transition yourself off bottles yourself throughout the day. Literally after you turned two.

How you can point to letters and say them or when I ask where one is you point to it.

You know your foam letters in the bathtub…all of them.

How you count (8, 9, 8, 9, 8, 9).

How you’ve finally learned your “A” sound. You say “appppp-ple”.

How you’ve started to say “opps!”

How you say “Mmmmm, that’s good!”.

How you know how to clean your toys and help me put them all away.

How when it’s nap time or bed time you say “night night” to your toys as you’re putting them away and putting your books back on the shelf.

How you know it’s time to FaceTime daddy and read books together before bed.

How you grab a book and sit down in my lap.

And point to everything in the book and tell me what it is.

You’re favorite books are Bear on a Bike, Boom Boom and Wocket in my Pocket.

And how I can ask what something is and you always, always know (I’m not sure how!). You’re so smart!

How you love to brush your “teee” (Teeth).

How you went pee on the potty for the first time and sang the Daniel Tiger Potty song (“flush and wash and be on your way”).

How when I say “lets change your diaper” you crawl right over to the spot on the couch and lay down for me to do it (most of the time)…

How I know it’s time to potty train you but it’s a part of me that feels like I’ll be losing my “baby” if we do it.

When you yell “noooooooooo!” It was cute in the beginning but can be completely embarrassing and sadly annoying at times.

How you get so upset when a stranger talks to me when we’re out. You throw an absolute fit.

How you still maintain your manners when you’re angry that you didn’t get your way (“thank you mommy”).

How you walk over to the kitty and say “get!” (not sure where you got that but we’re working on getting you to not do that).

How you now give full hugs and rub my back sometimes and say “aww, mommy.”

Your random kisses on our legs when we’re doing dishes, brushing our teeth or standing against the counter.

How you walk into my bathroom while I’m getting ready and hug my leg, kiss it and say “aww mommy”. I know that “aww mommy” means “I love you.”

How you move in a 100 different ways to get comfortable cuddling on the couch with your blankets.

How you will pick up anything on the floor and say “here mommy!” rather than put it in your mouth.

How you know if you drop food that it’s “yucky” and you throw it in the trash.

How you take your diaper and throw it in the trash yourself.

How you’re always happy and smiling in the morning when I pick you up out of your crib and say “Hi mommy.”

How you say “Mommy? Daddy? Where are you?” (are you?)

How you know so many words and can point to pretty much anything in a book if I ask you where it is.

How you go get “There’s a Wocket in My Pocket” because you know Daddy always reads that to you.

“Chicka Chicka Boom Boom!” is one that I always read to you and I love that you call it “Boom! Boom!”

How you sing “Let it Go!” to Frozen by saying “go! go!” and sometimes sing it in your crib at night.

How you bang on the ground in the beginning of Frozen just like the men do.

How you love to press the music keys on your kitty keyboard and dance around the living room in circles.

How you point to the snowflake on the thermostat app on my phone and say “Go!, Go!” (as in “let it go” from Frozen)

How when I tell you that I love you, you say “too” really shy and whisper.

How you kiss your baby goodnight and say “night night baby” and tuck her in.

How you hide under Daddy’s side of the sink in the bathroom.

How you’re not afraid of the dark…yet.

How you know every single animals sound and when I ask you what each animal does and you make the noise. It’s adorable. (cow, sheep, monkey, frog, bird, duck, horse, pig…)

How when you hear an airplane you say “MiMi!” like it’s Grandma coming to see you.

How you say “Hi MiMi” to MiMi in the car when she’s on speaker.

How you press the button while on FaceTime with daddy and say “bye bye Daddy” and then wait for his voice text back to you telling you that he loves you and sweet dreams.

How you know when it’s bedtime and you grab your blankets and walk straight into the bedroom yourself. You love your sleep.

How you love your sunglasses and you call them “eyes”. But you must have the blue pair to hold on to, too.

How much you love the water, the bath, the pool and the beach. You’re our little water baby.

How you sit at your table so nicely and eat your breakfast, lunch or dinner without a booster seat or highchair anymore.

How you sit and color so great. You’re doing so good!

How you started chewing on your nails constantly (we’re trying so hard to get you to stop).

How good you play with Ayla.

How when I ask you where the baby is you pull up my shirt and say “there it is” “baby!”.

How when you call for daddy sometimes you call him “Bobby!”

How when you grab Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear? book and sit on the couch and read it yourself.

How good you are in the shopping cart (and love it) when we go shop.

How you listen so well when I have to go to the bathroom and you don’t touch anything.

How when they come and mow the lawn you say “hi!” and when they leave you say “bye”.

How you knock on the bathroom door and say “Mommy! Come here. Where are you? Come in.”

How you say “bow” when your hair is in your face because you want me to put a hair tie in it.

How terrified you are of Mickey Mouse at Disney.

How fast your feet are growing! You’re already a size 7 and your only 2!

How you love your Puddle Jumper and literally taught yourself in a day how to keep your head up and out of the water. You’re so proud of yourself and float around the pool so independent and refuse to let me near you.

How you love cups with straws at Disney or restaurants.

How when we pull into our subdivision at the same spot turning on the street you say “we’re home.”

How you reach up to hold my hand when we walk together.

I know there is so much more. Right now, this is what I can come up with. And I will try to be better at posting more things not to forget about you, Josie.

You’re one of a kind and such a great big sweetheart and I love you so so so so much.