The All Clear and Thoughts on Baby #2

I had my last appointment with Dr. Evans yesterday. I won’t be seeing her again until my ‘well woman exam’ in October.

She gave me the all clear. As in-I am clear to be intimate with my husband again. But in her words it was: “I think it’s time you start exercising the area.” (wait, what?!) I had to laugh as she had her face staring at my lady parts as I said, “are you serious?” and she so sweetly replied, “Yes, you’re ready”. I feel so comfortable with her. I have been seeing her almost every week since Josie was born (because of the healing complications I was having). We both laughed as she elaborated on her statement. I never thought I’d hear those words so soon. And I never thought she’d be so happy for our appointments to be ending. It was surreal. And a moment of pure emotions for both of us. I swear, she wanted to cry with me.

But this is huge! I am healing! Yes, you read that right. I am healing! Finally. After 10 long weeks of what I thought would never end. I could scream off the rooftop. Seriously. This has been quite a journey! One only me, my husband and Dr. Evans can truly understand. It has been anything but easy. And absolutely well worth it. Josie has changed our lives in so many amazing ways.

After I walked out of the exam room to talk to the nurse that I always make small talk with about our growing babies, (she had her son a month before I had Josie) she told me that I’m not due back until October. Then I proceeded to tell her “well, that’s great, because we hope to be pregnant by then, again.” She looked at me like a deer in headlights. After she picked up her jaw, she said, “Are you being serious?” “Absolutely!” I exclaimed. Dr. Evan’s was standing right there and said, “I think that is just great and amazing!”

Bobby and I are ready to try again. But we will wait until October the very latest. I know that sounds crazy to try again so early (or some of you may think it’s early) but there are so many reasons (that I won’t go in to detail in this post) why we both want to try again. We love Josie so much. And believe that she deserves all of our attention. My only concern is not giving her the attention she needs and deserves when her mommy is pregnant. But I can’t think like that. I know I will do my best. And she has an amazing father.

We know you will have your own opinion on our decision and that’s fine. But this is what we want. And we’re very excited to try again.

The other night we put Josie to bed in her crib while still awake but very sleepy. We do that every night because it makes her used to falling asleep on her own. And she’s so good at it. Never puts up a fuss. She is very independent. Just like her mommy. After laying her down, I crawled into bed and said, “I’m so sad babe. I no longer have to rock my baby to sleep anymore.” And he said, “well, I guess it’s time to make another one then.”

More details on that later.

As for now, this “all clear” calls for a celebration.

I did it. I made it.

I’m not saying I’m thrilled to jump in the sack just yet, considering all I went through to get to this point. But to hear those words…utterly amazing.

Any and all future babies will be a scheduled C-section. I just can’t put my body through what I put it through again. Not because I don’t think I can handle it. Because I think I can. If I did it once, I can do it again. But it’s because it’s just not safe. We were lucky Josie was just small enough to be vacuumed out. Because of my misshaped pelvis bone, future babies cannot and will not be able to pass with ease if over 7 lbs. And I don’t want to risk it. Because second babies are usually bigger. So to make the complications I had this time, not reoccur and ensure our baby is going to be safe and healthy, a C-section is necessary next time. I had my one time vaginal delivery. I am able to say I did it. Without an epidural. Without medication. But now my pride may take the backseat now. It’s time to do what my body tells me as well as listen to my doctor this time. Dr. Evans is and was amazing. I don’t think I could have made it with any other doctor. She is so great. Such a wonderful woman! And we are all so excited to try again and see where this new journey takes us, dare I say?

Much more on this later. Promise.